Alright, ladies, we all know those women who walk into a room and everyone turns to look at her, she has that level of confidence and swag that makes people take notice. People think she’s the boss, and maybe she is, but either way, she is owning herself and her place in the world.
I have always looked up to women like these, and I strive to be like them. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve naturally gotten more confidence, but it is something that I’ve had to exercise on a daily basis and that I am still trying to get to take root in myself. My mother tried so hard to give me good self esteem, and for the most part, I think she succeeded, but I saw a lack of self confidence in her in regard to her appearance, and some of that cultivated in me. It’s inevitable to have these feelings, especially as a modern woman, but confidence is something that we, as women, should work on because we aren’t conditioned by society to possess it.
I strongly believe that confidence is like a muscle. You have to use it on a daily basis to make it stronger, so here are a few tips on how to work it, girl, because you are a bad-ass, believe me!
- Stand up straight – No slouching, ladies! There’s this trick you can do before a meeting or a presentation where you stand up, hold out your arms, and make yourself as large as possible. It’s supposed to make you feel more confident. You don’t need to play small, and whether you’re 5’1” or 6’2”, walking into a room with you head up, standing tall will not only make you appear more confident, it will make you feel more confident.
- Don’t worry so much – You are incredibly capable, you just have to believe that you are. Being stressed or worried about a situation outside of your control won’t do anything to help that situation, and stressing about a situation you do have control over undermines your ability to handle it. Confidence means, you got this, and you do! Believe it, do it, and own your ability to make shit happen.
- Stop caring about what others think – The older I get, the more I realize that not everyone is going to like me, or approve of my life choices, or be pleased by everything I do. If you care what others think and try to get outside approval of all your choices, the way you look, etc, you’ll never be happy. Care about your own opinion of yourself, try to always live up to your own standards, and own your authentic self. If someone else doesn’t like it, they can deal with it themselves.
- Learn to say no – This is my new personal favorite. I love saying, “No,” now, it’s so empowering. You don’t have to say yes to everything someone asks of you. Don’t have time, say no. Don’t think it’s your specialty, say no. Don’t want to do that thing or go to that event, say no. You’re actually doing this other person a favor by not performing a task you can’t put your whole heart into. Don’t feel guilty about it.
- They listen but take it with a grain of salt – A confident person is able to listen to constructive criticism. They realize that it might make them more successful to hear an outside perspective. With that being said, the confident woman doesn’t let every opinion sway her. Everyone has an opinion, and people love to share them, but that doesn’t mean you always have to take them any deeper than face value. A confident woman listens to advice but is then confident in making an educated decision that feels right to her and owning that decision…no regrets!
- They don’t wear clothing that makes them feel uncomfortable – whether it’s sweat pants or a body-con dress, work it. Don’t wear clothes that don’t fit you or that feel fussy to you. It comes through in your body language. Don’t keep any clothes that make you feel dumpy or uncomfortable. Wear clothes that you love every day. Life’s too short not to feel like the hot goddess you are!
Being confident is, again, something that I continue to struggle with. It comes in and out of my existence like a tide, but with some practice and surrounding myself with people who lift me up, I know that I can make it more a part of my life.
What are your confidence triggers? Do you have any tricks for feeling more confident?
One book that I totally recommend for helping women get over their confidence barrier is called I am That Girl by Alexis Jones. You can get it here on Amazon.